Forgivness

I have learned from watching my kiddos that forgiveness is not always so easy. They are stubborn and can be quite the block-head sometimes. I have also seen them rush over to the person they have wronged and apologize most sincerely. I am guessing that somewhere in the midst of my "worldly" advice and conversations about such things, they have managed to retain a little of what I was spouting out. That is very good for them, perhaps I should have retained some of that info as well. All the times that I have tried to set good examples, and be a good human being in general can just fly out of the window in heartbeat and are replaced with all of the things I have been preaching about not doing! I have let myself down, and have recently done and said things that I have warned my kiddos not to do on many occasions. My little voice of reason shut itself off completely and I ended up looking like a fool. I am one who feels taking responsibility for your actions is a very important part of being a good and decent person...so that is what I am doing. I am sorry for the things our kiddos had to witness from their mother, and also to a select few of my other family members. I could say I let the situation get the best of me, but that would be an excuse, I am the one who chose to get upset and say things that are out of character. I am mostly hurt by going against what I feel I DO stand for. I let myself down as a person and mostly as a mommy. I will probably beat myself up for a while, because that is what I tend to do. In all honesty the "situation" is behind me, and I can live with the outcome, it did feel good to finally have an outlet to say some things that really needed to be said, it is the manner in which it was done that is embarrassing and disappointing. I wanted to show my kiddos a good way to solve conflict and that display was no where near what I have envisioned. Once again, I apologize to my children, I am so very sorry!! I love you very much!